i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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