I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
