i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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