I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just cut my nipple shaving
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
