there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
