she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize