she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
