I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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