real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
someone owes me an orgasm
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
