what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
