Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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