I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
