i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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