I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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