Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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