I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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