I think I died a long time ago.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
