I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
