Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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