? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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