Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
