What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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