I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Are we still banned from the library?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
