i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
