It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
