Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
