oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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