Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize