Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
