Don't you send me to vm
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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