Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
