apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
