dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
