do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
