and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize