I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
