Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize