It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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