I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
