I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
