just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
