Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
