she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
