Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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