When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i barfeds in our rink
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
