Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.

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(561): View more from Florida

I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."

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(219): View more from Indiana

U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"

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(859): View more from Kentucky

We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong

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(614): View more from Ohio

There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.

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(530): View more from California

There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.

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(727): View more from Florida

Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.

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