: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize