Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize