I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
