She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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