That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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