My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
