It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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