I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize