Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
